Behind These Smiles
by Chipettelover227
Summary: Everyone has a story. Whether it be tragic, happy, romantic, it doesn't matter. Everyone has something within them that builds them up into what they are today. For Brittany and the rest of the gang, maybe those events were exactly...happy... Confused feelings, heartbreaks, arguments and much more has left the group of friends broken and torn. What's behind their smiles?


**Hey guys! Here's my newest story: Behind the Smiles. Hope you enjoy.**

_**Warning:**_** Alcohol abuse, homo's, language, eating disorders, self-harm, smoking and abuse. Don't like? Don't read! **

**Chapter 1: Perfecting The Mask**

_**Brittany's POV:**_

I groaned, shifting on the bed as I continued to sleep deeply, my dreams my only escape from reality. They were good and brought me real happiness, but sometimes even they betray me. Everything does eventually; at least that's what it felt like. Soon though, I heard a soft voice coaxing me from my peaceful slumber. Irritably, I swatted at them, though my hand only made contact with the thin air. Then I felt a great weight on top of me, and it was pinching my arms, their long, ragged claws digging into my flesh and creating an uncomfortable, burning sensation.

"I'm up!" I finally cried out in defeat, and the object on top of me giggled. Cracking an eye open, I found a lean, muscular chipmunk on top of me. Her fur was the color of golden honey, much like Eleanor's, and her eyes a bright, emerald green. Her thick eyelashes outlined her gem colored eyes, and she had a long mass of golden, wavy hair that cascaded down past her shoulders with pink highlights tangling in it. Her long bangs covered her left eye, and her bright smile made the room light up with her happy demeanor. I knew exactly who it was. "Angelina…, get off." I pushed her off, and she screamed, falling down onto the floor below with a pout. Angelina had been my best friend since we first began attending West Eastman High.

"You have a sexy morning voice!" Angelina singsong, and I shot her daggers with my eyes as I forced my other open, and I sat up, finger combing my hair subconsciously.

"Yeah? And you're gay is showing!" I replied, mocking her happy tone as she got up, brushing off her snow white shirt as if she had gotten dirt on it. Yeah, Angelina was gay, or lesbian, whatever you chose to call it, however I didn't mind. No one in our little pose did. She was the same girl we had met beforehand, and besides, her liking girls were the least of my problems at the moment. Her emerald eyes rolled at my comment and she scoffed.

"Whatever…" Angelina chuckled lightly, folding her arms across her chest. "Just hurry up Britt, alright? You're missing breakfast!" She flicked some of her golden locks behind her shoulder, and then flicked my nose, before she bolted from the room. _Odd Child, _I thought silently to myself as I glanced down at my night gown. I yawned, rubbing the sleep from my eyes with my fists before slipping out of my clothes.

I hopped into the shower-not like I need to describe that experience, right?-and then dried off, smoothing down my auburn colored fur, I fluffed it up a bit just as I did each and every morning. After dressing myself, I applied just a dad of make-up here and there to hide my imperfections before combing my hair and putting it up into my signature ponytail. Come to think of it, Angelina was honestly the only one of us to keep her hair down, and that look worked for her too.

Checking my appearance once more in the mirror, I couldn't help but frown at myself. _Oh poor, confident Brittany… _I thought to myself bitterly. _Take all your attitude away and what are you? Just an ugly, selfish, vain girl…and that's all you'll ever be. _Heaving a deep breath, I closed my eyes, feeling my two icy blues glassing over with unshed tears. I couldn't do this right now. Not with my newly applied make up, I'd only make myself look even more troll like. Curling my toes and wrinkling my nose in distaste, I glanced back into the mirror, practicing my smile. The forced look spread across my lips like butter, and even though I knew it was fake, I knew that for once, no one else would be able to detect the fakeness of this smile.

_I finally perfected my mask. _

No one knew what I was feeling inside. No one at all. They didn't know that every day I awoke, my heart even more battered and bruised then the previous day, my soul weighing myself down like an anchor. The mirror seemed to crack each time I forced myself to look into the reflective glass. I was so imperfect and miserable; I hated it and wished nothing more but for it to stop. But it didn't. The pain grew more and more, until I, Brittany Seville, couldn't help but hate her for bringing myself so much misery.

And why, you may ask, is that I feel this way? It was because of a long, series of events. My one and only crush, Alvin had announced that he and Eleanor were dating. No one had seen _that _one coming. I had always, honestly thought my jade eyed sister had had her eyes set on another short, stubby legged grass green eyed chipmunk of the name Theodore. And she had even known that I had liked Alvin, yet even my little sister had stabbed me in the back. At least, however, I had Jeanette….She and Simon were dating as well, but those two were perfect, despite their occasional arguments and disagreements which only ended with a heated, make up make-out. _Yuck. _At least, however, I had Angelina.

Angelina didn't have a girlfriend, though I knew she had a crush, but she refused to tell me or even give me a hint besides 'you know them very well.' Once I had even questioned it was me, but then again, I didn't think that were possible. Who in their right minds were ever like me? The one who was currently drinking away her miseries every night, and usually waking in some stranger's bed simply because the boy she loved wouldn't have her? Hell, I had even slept with a female once and I was completely, utterly straight. I was just that miserable and lonely.

_God Brittany, can you get any more pathetic? _

Slipping downstairs finally after clearing my head of my overwhelming thoughts, the forced smile gracing my lip gloss smothered lips as I took my usual seat next to Alvin, whose hand was laced with Eleanor's. My hands clenched into angry fists, my teeth grinding together as I forced my blue gaze from the couple and over to Angelina, whom of which was having a pleasant, one-sided conversation with a saddened Theodore, who was gazing at the green-clad chipette across the table.

Next, my gaze moved to Jeanette and Simon, who were giving each other the usual heart eyes looks and whispering sweet nothings into their ears. My heart sunk to the soles of my feet. Was it wrong for me to wish them miseries? To wish them all great miseries, even though they did not deserve it? It was selfish, but I wanted nothing more but for everyone to feel the numbing wave of depression I did.

_Selfish, that's what you are, a selfish bitch._

Dave slid the plate over to me, and I gave him an appreciative look as I gazed down at the food. However, my mind was much too preoccupied for me to ever consider taking a bite, not alone eating the entire plate. My breakfast consisted of sizzling, crispy bacon, sunny-side up eggs, and a side of hash browns and toast, courtesy of Eleanor and Theodore themselves. To be less suspicious, however, I picked up the chipmunk sized silverware and began shoveling food into my mouth.

Once I had finished breakfast, each one of us went outside in the backyard to hang out. Eleanor and Alvin, of course, were just sitting on the seats set up on the patio, their fingers entwined as they laughed at something that Eleanor had stated just moments before.

Simon and Jeanette were sitting at the picnic table, drawing on their journals as they came up with ideas for their science project due two weeks from now. Jeanette was pushing the bridge of her purpled rimmed glasses, her violet eyes shimmering as she did, but of course, her ungratefulness came to haunt her as she randomly tipped back from her chair and fell out, for no reason at all. Yes, she was just _that _clumsy. A squeal flew from her lips, and Simon darted to her aid, though Angelina twitched beside me, as if she had an urge to help her as well.

Theodore on the other hand, wasn't having a so pleasant time. All alone the youngest of us all sat in the dark, shaded corner as he tended to his and Eleanor's garden. The two had once spent so much time together but now, she was sidetracked with Alvin, and I knew that his thoughts her mind probably did consume. I would know. He had this level of charm that did that to you, and he was far worse than the most addictive of drugs. Once you had a small taste of him, you craved more and more and it just never faded, and when you couldn't have him it burned your insides and turned your brain to mush. Theodore probably felt that way with Eleanor, but who was I to know, considering I wasn't him, so who was I to know?

Angelina was sitting next to me, perched on the tree branch were both sat on, her legs swinging back and forth as she hummed absentmindedly, her gaze flickering over our yard.

"Angel…" I began, chewing my cheek as I watched her. At the sound of her name her small, rounded ears twitched and in an instant, her head snapped in my direction, and she tilted her head curiously as though she were a curious puppy.

"Hmm?"

"Well, I don't know…I just feel so awkward right now, not to mention bored! I don't know what to do with myself anymore." Shoulders sagging and I felt as though a giant weight was settled on them, forever burdening me with the things I couldn't have. I knew I shouldn't wish for things that I had no chances of ever receiving, such as Alvin's heart, but that didn't mean that I didn't want it. Because to be honest, I did want it, so badly, and it hurt to know that he would never feel the same. He would never look at me the way he did Eleanor. And as if reading my thoughts, Angelina's eyes fell onto the red clad chipmunk, and she sighed, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Brittany. I know how you're feeling." She began honestly, as she pressed a friendly kiss to my cheek. "It hurts to know that the one you've given your heart to doesn't feel the way that you do, doesn't it? It's so awful and terrible and the happier they are, the worse you feel, knowing that it'll never be you to make them smile and feel that way. It'll never be you to hold their hand…I know that feeling and it truly, utterly sucks. But you just need to move on. Granted, it's tough, but eventually you'll have to. Because if you focus on the negative, you'll never truly be happy." She concluded.

This was why I loved her so. She had this childish, playful, immature side, but she also had a mature side that most of us didn't get to see. She was great for advice, and her sassy, out-going, immature attitude made her just fun to be around. But the thing that made my stone cold heart break and shatter into even more bits and pieces was the fact that I knew she was speaking out of experience. She was pouring her heart out to me, but disguising it as comfort to myself. But she should have known that I'd be able to see through her mask. I could detect her pain, as we had known each other that long. I knew her. Slipping my arms around her shoulders, I gave a sigh.

"And the girl you like…is she taken? She loves someone else?" Instead of responding vocally, or even giving me the slightest nod, the white-clad girl beside me just gave a long, drawn out sigh and slipped down from the tree, walking over to the Theodore. She spent a lot of time with him, trying to comfort him and break into the wall that he had been building around himself, just the way poor Angel had to do to me.

_What kind of friend are you, not noticing that Angelina felt so depressed? You're no friend at all. You bastard you._

Eventually I to made my way off the branch, jumping to the ground despite how high up I had climbed. Maybe if I hit the ground hard enough, I'd break my neck and die. Maybe I could inflict pain upon myself, make me suffer for the things I've done…for the evil I had committed. To my disappoint, however, I only managed to twist my damn ankle and hell did it hurt.

It was around five that I finally managed to catch up to my once best friend, now distant friend, Alvin. He took a seat beside me, and at first I thought he had for once chosen to hang with me instead of his girlfriend, just like old times. But instead he had gone on to tell me how she had a girl scout's meeting. _Typical, _I thought to myself.

_Of course he wouldn't want to talk to you of all people, idiot._

"So….." Alvin began, hoping to start a conversation between the two of us, but our once strong, close bond had been worn down until it hung by nothing more than a simple, breaking thread. "That Angelina chick, she's a lesbo?"

"Mhm, and?"

"Well…you two are getting rather close…" Alvin hinted, glancing at me. His hazel eyes stared intently down into my own, as if peering into my soul and judging me from the inside out, causing my heart to do backflips in my chest and my stomach to turn inside out. My tail curled around me, my knees hugging to my chest as I closed my eyes, taking in what he was suggesting. "Are you…are you a lesbian, Britt?" I couldn't believe my ears, and my eyes nearly popped out of my chest. I had nothing against them, but the thought of me myself being one of them sort of frightened me. Did he honestly think- "Well?" He pressed, raising a question eyebrow.

"No." I retorted, waving him off like the plague as I gave a grunt and shoved him away. "You bloody idiot, I'm as straight as a ruler. I have nothing wrong against lesbians or bi's, but honestly? I like boys. I love the opposite sex. In fact, the one that I have a crush on is part of the male species, who all seem to be clueless idiots, save for the occasional exceptions such as Simon! I _wish _I was a lesbian, because then I wouldn't have to understand boys and their completely illogical thinking and childish behavior!"

I didn't know what brought on my sudden outburst, but to be frank I couldn't care less. After that, I barricaded myself in my room until Jeanette slipped in. Bless her kind heart, she was the only one (save for Angelina) who took time out of her busy life to see me. But this time, she her usually bright with life violet eyes were wide in horror, her mouth gaping as her hand was placed over her chest, which I swore I could hear thudding against her ribcage until it cracked.

"You okay?" I asked, though I already knew the answer to that question. It was quite obvious she was on the far end from _fine. _Just as I was, however, instead of replying she just slipped under her covers and whimpered pathetically as I had been doing only moments before.

I didn't understand. Even my sister Jeanette was having problems. Even she was keeping secrets. That just proved it. We were nothing more than a group of lying, cheating, secretive friends and family who couldn't even trust each other with their true families.

Why hadn't I realized this before?

_Behind these smiles, I'm broken inside. _


End file.
